Grace Is A Powerful Weapon

 Have you noticed that everyone has an opinion on parenting on the socials now, and everyone thinks their parenting tip is the right way to parent? I’m hoping that what you read will be like a breath of fresh air, and will bring peace, where there has been stress, pressure and shame.

There is no cookie cutter way to parenting. Every family, every child, every parent is different and wonderful in their own unique way. The Bible absolutely has it right when it says to, “Raise a child in the way THEY should go.” (Prov. 22:6) This verse reminds me of an episode on Bluey, where Mum encourages Bluey to run her own race. There is no perfect timing for a child to reach a certain milestone. They will reach whatever milestone, they’re “supposed to” reach in their own timing. 

I believe that it is time for us to forgive and release ourselves from the pressure and the shame that we have felt to stay within the norms of society. Let’s mind and steward our own parenthood. I believe so many norms have been deeply rooted in shame and it has become detrimental to our families and to our physical, mental and emotional health. 

Whether your parenting lines up with gentle parenting or the more assertive type of parenting. All that matters is that you are parenting the best way for your family. This is why I say that grace is a powerful weapon. It destroys the works of shame. I’m not sure when it happened, but there has been a mission or an assignment that has been placed on this new generation of parents. Your assignment: You must undo every generational parenting mistake ever done. EVER! Whew! I’m exhausted just typing it! 

I have one question. Who said so? Shame. Shame said so. Shame loves nothing more than to belittle and devalue you and everyone around you. 

I know that this can be a touchy subject because some backgrounds are truly traumatizing and are full of experiences that no child should have to go through or experience. I am truly sorry if this is the truth for you. It was not your fault and you did not deserve it. I pray you find healing or continue to heal as you parent with the intention of love and kindness. 

*This next statement does not include traumatic experiences.*

Shame looks upon everything with destruction in mind. It leaves you in a mess of toil and pain, but the truth will set you free. What is the truth? Your parents and their parents before them, and their parents before them. They were only ever, doing the best they knew how. If their intention was love and to help you grow into who you are, Today? Then that’s all that matters. This does not disvalue the pain the mistakes caused, but it does make a path for forgiveness, grace and connection.

When we surrender our graven images of parenting to God, then we can release others and ourselves from the bondage of our disappointment. We are then able to have the perspective we need to celebrate others and our own victories! We are able to free the people in our world of the expectations that we have placed on them and on ourselves. We are able to let go of the lie that we’re powerful enough to break a child because of our mistakes, and embrace the truth that God is more than able to hold our families in his strong hands! We can trust God with our families. We can trust God with ourselves. We can trust in God’s relationship with others. We can trust in others and our relationship with God. He’s really big and really good! 

For my family personally, we are praying and fighting for perspective on the daily. Our parenting doesn’t look like anything we thought it would. Corey is the full time everything right now. We are the absolute best parents for Ty because he was given to us. He adores his dad. He wants to do everything DaDa does. My time with Ty looks like cuddling in bed and watching shows or parts of a movie on the “iTop”. That means if we applied the social norms to our current situation, “we’re failing” our son because of too much screen time. If I applied that standard to our lives, then I wouldn’t have any time with my son. Instead I trust myself, Corey and Ty to know that we are loving on Ty the best we can right now. I talk to Jesus and check in with myself and Corey. Corey is really killing it at parenting! Their bond is beautiful, and Ty is constantly growing and learning every day! We are very proud of the smart, kind, funny and sweet boy that he keeps growing and growing into! Our big boy is learning how to use the potty. He loves to say, well really sing his ABCs and 123s! He often calls me “Baby”, “Honey” and even “CoCo”. Sometimes he even calls me “Nicole” Lol, we’ve learned that’s why couples call each other “DaDa and Mama!”

So I invite you to step into the love, hope, joy and freedom that grace and forgiveness provides! I also invite you to remember that every sin, every curse, every work of darkness, death, hell and the grave was completely defeated by Christ! From the foundations of the world! (Rev. 13:8)

That means ABSOLUTE and TOTAL FREEDOM! Once and for ALL! Now go parent and love on your babies! The best way THEY should go.

Love Always,

Nanny Nicole